Pixie, I hear that you are starting to feel alienated. We are your hoop community we are here to support you and all hoopers. This stuff can be hard to work through but I know everyone here would like a peaceful, happy solution to this. If this was a group of poi spinners, you'd have gotten a lot harsher feedback than you've gotten from us. It can be hard to give critical feedback in a way that people can hear but I am going to try. Knowledge is power and hopefully that understanding can help you make choices that bring about the outcome you desire.

You have said some things that I find off putting and I'm not even involved in this. As an outside observer, here is my take on how this is playing out:

- "I do however find it somewhat alarming that you would disregard the guidelines established by the kind folks at Hooping.org." This feels like you're trying to invoke Hooping.org as an authoritative body and blame these other folks for ignoring their authority. Hooping.org has no enforcement power. That whole list came up as a result of a conversation in this tribe very similar to this one. It is a reference tool and a resource, nothing more. To invoke it as if someone made a mistake by not consulting it sounds like blaming and rationalization to me. To quote them exactly, if the "name you are using is already on the list contact that person directly and let them know so the two of you can figure it out."

- You repeatedly accuse others of "trying to make you look bad" yet I hear a lot of blame in your posts, especially in the second half of this one. You write, "At first I did not see the need to get a TradeMark since I assumed others in this community would follow the same guidelines of respect and integrity," which is basically saying that others have not acted with respect and integrity. Who is trying to make who look bad with such a statement? And that's just one of them. I lost count of the "do the right thing" references. These posts are seeded with so many passive-aggressive statements it makes me feel angry and defensive and I'm not even involved! I can only imagine how much more it would get my dander up coming from someone I felt was violating my trademark and trying to take away my name after 10 years of running my own business. Yes, it is "very important in being a pixie to observe your behavior and how it affects others". I am trying to help you do just that because you are doing all the things you accuse others of doing. This victim role is not serving you, nor is not accepting responsibility for your own passive-aggression and blaming.

- There also seems to be a series of shifting rationalizations about why you are entitled to this name and others who have been operating a business under it longer are not. As reasons arise that contradict what you want, you seem to grasp for other reasons why you should get your way. This feels defensive and is not helpful.

- And then there is the lawsuit threat. You say you didn't threaten anyone with a lawsuit but, again, we all know that trademarks do not enforce themselves. People have to file lawsuits for that to happen. By even mentioning trademark enforcement you bring up the specter of a lawsuit, whether or not you said that out loud. It is implied by your explanation. So take people at their word. They felt threatened. And intimidating or threatening people, openly or obliquely, is not very pixie-like. There is no "quality of gentleness" to that It is also not the way to create a win/win solution. I hope you can see how those initial contacts led to where we are now.

- There also seems to be a flip-flop in your explanation as to why this conversation stopped being conducted privately, as it should have, with the Canadian pixies. First you blamed them, then you admitted you stopped contacting them because it appeared they had "more resources at their disposal". I appreciate that you apologized for that. I'm just pointing out that that fed into both the blaming and the shifting rationales I brought up earlier.

- Finally, and perhaps the biggest issue of all, involves simple fairness. I'm not sure how you think it is fair to ask someone who has been operating a hoop-related business (and we are talking Pixie Hoops, not Pixie selling other stuff) longer than you to change their business name and website just because you got a TM (which you don't even have yet) here in the states and they got one in Canada -- before you did! You're asking them to honor yours when you are unwilling to honor theirs. That is a huge thing to demand, especially with a business that is further along in their development than you are and especially when you are unwilling to do the same. You applaud Rosebud for "being cool" and say you "found a way to work things out" when, in fact, she went to great lengths to change her entire channel, which she didn't have to do, just to accommodate you. That is not compromise or "working things out". That is complete acquiescence. Is that what you demand? Or are you willing to compromise too? If so, what are you willing to give up to try to achieve a win/win solution for everyone?

It is probably better to try to resolve this issue privately. (Maybe not. Maybe you need the input of your community. I'm not sure.) To resolve this privately you have to screw up your courage and make it happen. Figure out what you're willing to give up and what you really need, ponder on creative solutions and alternatives, then pick up the phone and call. Playing things out here just invites everyone to chime in, creates hard feelings and creates a reputation in the community that may not be in alignment with what you'd choose.

So what are you willing to do to work this out? Not what do you demand of others. What are you willing to do? What concessions are you willing to make. I recommend you pick up the phone and work this out together, just like Hooping.org recommends. The alternative is to start calling lawyers and paying good money for a case you just might lose anyway. Why keep throwing good money after bad? Is there room enough in your worlds for two pixies? It's up to you really.

I know this has probably been hard for you to hear. If it's any consolation, it's been very hard for me to write too. I've been working on it for hours and, while I'm in the spirit of confession, I have written and discarded about 15 others since this whole thing started. My goal, though, and my greatest hope is that you can step back and look at this situation through someone else's eyes. When we get caught up in trying to be right or trying to win, we get stubborn and things get worse. (Believe me, I speak from experience here.) This is going to require a radical shift in thinking and strategy to heal. You will have to call upon all your Pixiness. I don't know what the final solution will be but I think you could consider other plays on the name Pixie -- PixieHoopdance, PixieHoopBliss, PixieHulaHoops, PixieHoopsandwhatever-else-it-is-you-sell... There have got to be other possibilities. Perhaps that is the best place to put your attention.

I wish a positive outcome for everyone. I direct blessings of love, wisdom, courage, creativity, flexibility and humility toward all. Good luck.

Hello all,

This is a response to the last message from Kacey and to everyone following this post.
I apologize if this has gotten off the original topic of Rosebud being wrongfully asked to remove her YouTube Channel.
But I do feel I have to reply publicly to this last message, to honour all your time spent here.
This will be our last message on this thread.

I am in total shock by the accusations and tone in the last message posted by Kacey.
We have put our best foot forward ever since we first heard from Kacey on August 19th 2009.

Firstly I am so sad that you again state so openly our "disregard" for this community.... when that is so very far from the truth.
That hurts.

From the beginning I let Kacey know that we were very overwhelmed by the whole situation and that we would try and stick to the facts and not let emotion cloud the way.

So facts are:

We have been running the Poi Pixies and Pixie Hoops in Canada since 1999.
This can be professionally documented with clearly dated evidence.
We purchased poipixies.com in 2001 and promoted Pixie Hoops on that website from 2002 - 2008 when we expanded, purchased and launched pixiehoops.com. This has not be a casual endeavor and over the years of business there has been countless workshops, performances, products and plenty of online presence. All can be documented with clear usage of the name Pixie Hoops.

The internet is vast and choosing or not choosing representation on any social network is not legally binding.
Again without going into details your vast online networks were all started in 2009, with the exception of your myspace which started in 2008.

The Hooping.org website is not a legal business name registration of any kind.
It is a thoughtful measure by Philo but simply not submitting our name is no reason for justifying this situation.
He did clear that up to you Kacey in the message he sent to us both describing the list for what it is.

In 2002 we did search our Pixie Hoops name and you know what - there was no Hooping.org yet!!
No name list... we simply searched out the existing forums of the flow arts communities of those early days.
Mostly homeofpoi.com - which was the "hub" of flow arts then, and has been since 1998.
And of which we have been an active member since 2002.

Another important point is made by you yourself.... Actually it is the most important point you make.

"It was when I was ready to build a website and acquire the .com that I first saw you."

YOU saw our site, you saw our business name, logo, branding, products and you confess to seeing this before you subsequently went on to purchase pixie-hoops.com and continued business as usual even though someone had obviously started it before you.

More Facts:

You have confirmed knowing about us at pixiehoops.com before purchasing and launching your current website under the same name.
Also from looking the sign up dates of most of your online networks, these all happened after this time as well.... around the same time as your url registration.
AND it would be impossible to register that name on the Names Directory For Performers and Business on Hooping.org without a website to point the name and link to.
SO you knew about our business, our name, our website and still registered that name with a link to your current site on the Hooping.org list ???
Really?

Kacey... the moment you noticed that pixiehoops.com was purchased and running a Hooping business and then continued making claims online and within our community to that name is the root to all of this entire situation.

So again, being told over and over about our "disregard" when we have been professionally using this name in this community for so many years is tragic.
Do you think there is any chance you maybe over stepping your rights on this issue?

Amazing that you state " I'm quite sure you were aware of my presence and disregarded it all together."
My goodness... in 2008 we were thrilled to find the .com available and to be able to expand our sister site poipixies.com
Trust me there was no presence of you and your hooping business online at that time.... I can prove it if I need to.

And then there is more:

We have not bullied you, ever, in any way - that is so far from the truth.
We have stuck to the facts and will continue to do so.
We will not change our long time business name, we will stand behind the right of first documented use.

And we never made you "look bad" ??

Long sigh....

Thank you to all the kind people ((and pixies)) that have supported Rosebud.
And continue to listen to this banter.

I wish I was hooping!!

Regards,
Natasha
--
Pixie Hoops :: Poi Pixie Productions
www.pixiehoops.com
spin@pixiehoops.com
--
Poi Pixies :: www.poipixies.com
Hooping Music :: www.hoopingmusic.com
Taal Fiza Productions :: www.taalfiza.com

Well said!

I'm not trying to jab at the poi spinning community. I belong to that community too and I love them and poi. I don't know if it's because it's a more male dominated movement art or if there is more testosterone in the art or the community but I have belonged to a bunch of poi forums where the people there would just spank someone they didn't agree with -- and most folks didn't seem to mind. It has always struck me as very different from our community where we sometimes bend over backward to be compassionate to the point of avoiding the hard things to say. That's all I'm saying. To me, they're like yin and yang. And as with a yin/yang symbol, which is also a circle, the place of balance is somewhere in the center.

How about "Rise Above Hoops!" I really like that name, on a lot of levels.