okay, i just HAVE to ask it...

i don't sweat, i glisten.

I wouldn't post something that didn't make me feel good about myself in some way. I think that's human nature. If what I perceive as negative outweighs positive, I don't post it. I wouldn't post a video where I'm not wearing a bra for example. That would make me too self-conscious. I rarely show my belly either. Nothing wrong with self-editing. Humans do it all the time.

I didn't percieve your response as snarky. You may have felt you had that energy when you wrote it but I think you did a pretty good job of using neutral language and claiming your feelings and I found your apology and explanation quite eloquent also. I also find your response refreshingly self-aware and brave and honest.

About the red face stuff, I have found a foundation that covers up blemishes, red face and even my hives. It covers everything. You can put it on your lips and make them disappear. Your eyebrows or facial hair also. You can render your face a blank canvas and create any look you like, which makes it ideal for theater performances too. I've never used anything like it. It's from Dermablend Corrective Cosmetics and it's their Smooth Indulgence foundation. It costs about $25 a tube but a little goes a very long way and a tube lasts a long time. It also feels good on my skin. And I have very sensitive skin! It's made by dermatologists to cover serious facial blemishes like birthmarks and burns and tattoos and I mean to tell you, this stuff covers! They sell a concealer too but I can't imagine why you would need one. Here's a link to some examples of this stuff: www.dermablend.com/index.aspx

I know when I use this stuff, if I do get red face, no one knows. It is completely concealed. Hives too. It also doesn't run even if you sweat on it from your brow or hair. It's wonderful stuff. I buy it directly from their site, which is down for maintenance but you can buy it from other places too if you google it. Here's one: www.drugsdepot.com/viewitem...BEIGE_1OZ

no hijacking at all, it's an important conversation to have! if it makes you feel any better, i have never taped myself hooping. ever. and i'm not sure i'll ever get the courage to share one someday with everyone, even though this tribe is amazingly lovely and supportive. but hell, that's me and my insecurities. even though i've been a performer all my life, i've never liked watching myself on camera... so taping myself hooping would immediately put me into self-conscious mode. i can hoop in front of a massive group of people with no problem, but goodness forbid i preserve it on tape and post it. hee!

jennaluna, I don't think you came across as vain OR snarky! I didn't mean to come across as enlightened either. All I meant was that I do so many stupid things without the hoop on a regular basis (tripping on curbs, walking into doors, and other loud painful obvious klutzy things that friends and strangers witness) that my embarrassment threshold has changed a lot from the days when I would feel really self conscious about stubbing my toe in public (and I am not exaggerating - there was a crack in the sidewalk at my high school that EVERYONE tripped over at least once a week and every time I did it, I felt like I was naked and everyone was staring at me).

There is a huge difference between being proud of what I'm putting online and not minding if it's not entirely, ahem, flattering. When I started hooping, I didn't have a video camera so whenever I wanted to make a video, I would borrow the work camera. Of course I wanted my hooping to LOOK awesome because it FELT awesome. I had never seen myself hoop before, and when I looked at the videos I made, I was slightly horrified by how awkward and clumsy I looked (especially in comparison to how lovely and graceful I felt). My mom, sisters, and long distance friends really wanted to see this new fangled hobby I kept telling them about, so I sucked it up and just sent my awful videos because i had to bring the camera back to work the next day. It was necessity rather than enlightenment that made that decision for me since I couldn't afford to buy a camera at the time and I knew I couldn't keep my work camera indefinitely.

I learned SO much from recording myself though, and when I eventually bought a new digital camera about six months later, I was excited that it had a video function too. Not only did I see what my little sister arm was doing (or, more to the point, NOT doing) but I saw all kinds of things like how I tended to stand completely still. I also learned that I had been doing a trick totally wrong and thinking that I'd been doing it right for about six months. I know that I learned how to do shoulder duckouts correctly, but somewhere between the time I learned them and the time I bought a camera, I had been cheating my arm up every single time. I had to retrain my body to keep my arm down. Seeing that huge mistake made me realize how valuable the video camera can be, especially for someone like me who was only hooping at the park with no mirror, no feedback, etc. For me, that value helped wipe out some of my reluctance to see what my hooping really looked like.

Now that I've been recording myself for so long, it's gotten easier to post videos where I mess up. Something that Xenya said on the Hoop Path DVD trailer sticks with me - it was something about how Bax said if you don't drop the hoop, you aren't learning anything new. For me, dropping the hoop and messing up are part of the process, so I don't mind if that shows up in my videos. I don't think that means I'm more enlightened than anyone though - just lazy and unable to edit my videos! ; ) Caroleeena mentioned the power of repetition in hooping, but I think it also applies to what we are talking about in terms of posting videos. The more often I did it, the less self-conscious I got about the details (my hair, my outfit, my hooping itself).

I TOTALLY understand what you said about posting videos where you don't like your outfit or your stomach is showing. One of the things I frequently think when I watch my videos is damn it, why wasn't I sucking in my stomach? Every time I turn to the side and see my belly, there it is. I keep turning in a circle, and there it is AGAIN, still not sucked in. Whenever I do anything where I bend over (like a duckout), I cringe at my belly fat hanging over, even if it's just for a second. I also look back on some of my videos and can't understand why I ever wore that pair of pants or why I didn't just pin my hair up. Hee, I feel like I'm on What Not to Wear, but without the $5000 to spend on new clothes.

We all self edit to a degree. It just depends on where it starts and ends for each individual. Some people won't make/post videos unless they have on an outfit they like, other people won't post something with a mistake. It's all about what you feel comfortable with sharing, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to post a video for whatever reason. I would never post a video of myself doing angled shoulder hooping naked with my boobs, stomach, ass, and thighs jiggling everywhere! Okay, I would actually draw the line WAY before then, but you see what I mean! We each have a different place where we feel comfortable, and one person's place does not inform anyone else's. Do what you feel comfortable with, but don't be surprised if what feels comfortable changes!

And I agree with you about not getting intonation online. I really apologize if my previous post came off sounding at all judgmental or rude. That wasn't my intention at all! I shouldn't post at 4am when I'm not thinking clearly :D